Lots of people have learned to tame stress by refusing to accept defeat in the face of negative forces. Instead, they meet stress head on,with a positive outcome. In other words, if you can use a negative event (like losing your job) to motivate you to take positive action (like getting a better job), you can beat stress at its own game.

Here's how you can make stress work for you, not against you:

• Try not to think of setbacks as defeats.
• View stress as an energizer. Consider each new demand as a challenge, no matter how forbidding it may seem.
• Always ask yourself, "What's the best that can happen?" rather than "What's the worst possible outcome?"
• Pause between skirmishes. Allow for rest and recuperation before facing each challenge.
• Take charge. Although you can't control other people's actions, you can control your response to what comes your way. When it comes to managing your emotions, you're the boss.
• Don't try to please everyone--you can't. (Do aim to please yourself occasionally, though.)
• Get the big picture. Think in terms of long-range goals, not just day-to-day problems